Graber Pro Series Fluid Bike Trainer

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Use this: because right now, your bike thinks it can just go wherever it wants, and that’s no good because you gotta be the alpha!

Don’t use this: on your opponents bike right before the race starts. That’s cheating!

If this were a sports broadcaster, it would say: something that no one could hear, because it’s the quietest of all indoor models. So, it’d probably make a bad sports broadcaster, if we’re being honest.

Some skeptics wonder: if we will look back on this time in history – when we trapped bikes inside all day, forcing them to work their wheels without letting them go anywhere – as a dark time for bike rights.

Archie Tinker, rodeo cowboy, describes how to best wrangle this product: “Now, this’n’s a tricky’ne, cuz’n it’s a wrangler its self, ‘cept it’n only wrangles bikes. So’s whatchoo got’sa do is get’n to talk to’s it, t’make friendly-like, and lay’n hints that’n you’re the bes’ wrangler in this here county an’ now’s you’re’a searchin’ for’s a sidekick! Well, this’n Graber Pro’ll be, ‘Choose moi,’ (cuz’n thanksta the Tour Duh-Frans, all them bike pieces talk the Frayonaise) an’ ya’ll be all sayin’, ‘shake’n it.’ An’ when it hol’s out his han’, tha’s whens ya lasso em! Easy’s rye pie! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!”

In the box:

(1) Graber 1040 Pro Series Fluid Bike Trainer

Woot