iRobot Roomba Robotic Vacuum – $129.99

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Roar Of The Greasepaint

And the award for “Most Innovative Dinner Theater Script” goes to…

Wow! WOW! I can’t believe I’m actually up here at last! Man! This thing sure is heavier than it looks! Okay, well, first of all, I’d like to thank my Mom and Dad, first for believing in me when nobody else did, and second, for letting me borrow their iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum. Without them, my story of the star-crossed love between a vacuum and a floor would never have come to fruition, and I certainly wouldn’t be here now.

Secondly, I’d like to thank Mel O’Brien, the man who gave me a chance. Mel, you took a big risk letting me and my iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum get up on stage that first night. But when you saw how the iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum sucked up all the crumbs, dirt, dust and pet hair that normally you’d have to pay a cleaning staff to remove, and also how well I could pretend to be a floor, I think you opened up your heart to me, especially after I removed the entire subplot about the food poisoning at a dinner theater.

Of course, I can’t accept this award without offering to share it with my lovely co-star. iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum, come on down here! No, it’s okay, I’ve set up your two included virtual walls so it’ll be easy. Yeah, come on! Come on! Yeah! Come on down! Okay, well, it’ll take a few minutes for him to get here, I guess. But that’s only because he’s so thorough on both carpets and hard floors.

While we’re waiting, want to hear a funny story? My first acting job was right out front, when I was six years old. Mel probably has never even heard this, see, my dad had me pretend to fall over in the road, right when Mel drove by in his car, and then my dad- yeah, that’s right! You remember, Mel! You ended up paying my dad fifty grand to settle out of court! Man, he cleaned up off you! Just like the iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum cleans up while somebody’s off doing something else! Aww, look at him, running over to hug my Dad! Wow, that’s sure a tight hug, isn’t it. I guess that’s some theater tradition, hugging with hands around the neck. Aw, and now my Dad’s passed out with emotion. But Mel won’t stop hugging!

It’s this world, the loving world of the dinner theater, that I’m happy to finally be a part of. I hope you’ll all be our guest to a free performance and meal later tonight in celebration of this great victory! Yeah, that’s okay, isn’t it, Mel? You can afford a few thousand free meals, right? Aw, ha ha! That’s coff okay, big guy, I choke don’t need a theater hug as wheeze thanks. It’s just gasp part of the business, right?

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 1 Year iRobot

Condition: New

Features:

• Cleans routinely…so you don’t have to
• Efficiently vacuums dirt, debris, pet hair, dust, allergens and more from carpets and hard floors
• Counter rotating Bristle Brush and Beater Brush work together like a dustpan and broom
• Sturdy Bristle Brush digs deep into carpet fibers to grab dirt, debris, pet hair and more
• Powerful vacuum sucks large and small debris into the large, bag-less bin
• Cleans the whole floor, under and around furniture, into corners and along wall edges
• Automatically adjusts to vacuum carpets and hard floors
• Spot mode quickly cleans up spills and concentrated messes
• Virtual Walls tell it where to clean by restricting off-limit areas and it automatically senses and avoids stairs and other drop-offs
• Simple operation—just press the Clean button and Roomba does the rest

Additional Photos:

• Roomba with Virtal Walls
• Bottom (battery installed)
• Bottom (without battery)
• Counter-Rotating Brushes
• Bagless Bin and Extra Filter
• Package Contents
• Packaging

In the box:

• (1) iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum
• (2) Virtual Walls (4 C batteries required **not included**)
• (1) Power Supply
• (1) Brush Cleaning Tool
• (1) Rechargeable Battery
• (1) Extra Filter

Woot! – One Day, One Deal