Come Back, Stabler, Come Back: Woot Weads The Wire
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
NEW YORK (UPI) — Couples who want to marry at New York City clerks’ offices Sunday, the day gay marriage becomes legal in the state, have to take their chances in a lottery.
This decision finally proves beyond any doubt that homosexuality will lead to gambling.
UNITED NATIONS (UPI) — Law and order must return to Ivory Coast before the country can recover from a post-election crisis, a U.N. official testified.
However NBC seems dead set on focusing on other series in the wake of Christopher Meloni’s sudden departure.
SAN FRANCISCO (UPI) — San Francisco police said a New Jersey man stole a Pablo Picasso pencil drawing from a gallery the day after he arrived in town.
Police are looking for a man in an El Dorado which may appear the color of an avocado.
SACRAMENTO (UPI) — Cuisine at the California State Fair is moving beyond the fryer, adding maggot sandwiches, grilled raccoon and more to fair-goers, officials say.
Fair officials say that the menu was deliberately based on the Voight-Kampff Test as part of the summer-long homage to sci-fi classic “Blade Runner”.
ANDERSON, S.C. (UPI) — A South Carolina couple said a dark gray mark that appeared on a Walmart receipt appears to bear the image of Jesus Christ.
Retail theologists say that in this situation, returns are only allowed on the morning of the third day.
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