On The Orders Of Mayor McCheese: Woot Weads The Wire
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
NEW YORK (UPI) — A U.S. psychologist and a New York ad agency are creating a marketing campaign aimed at monkeys to investigate human susceptibility to marketing messages.
And in a related story, TiVo announced massive pre-orders on their upcoming monkey-sized device.
CHICAGO (UPI) — A union representing housekeepers at the Park Hyatt in Chicago says the hotel used heat lamps as a weapon against protesters.
Historians note this tactic was last used by police in the 1986 “Fry Guy” riots.
NEW YORK (UPI) — An atheist group says it has filed suit to remove the “World Trade Center Cross” from the Sept. 11 museum in New York City.
Proving that atheists don’t seem to believe in public relations either.
WASHINGTON (UPI) — The United States’ credit rating remains top-notch but with an asterisk, two key credit rating firms said Tuesday.
Government officials protested the asterisk, saying no one in their right minds could assume this Congress was on anything performance enhancing.
HOLDEN, La. (UPI) — Louisiana State Police say they arrested a 28-year-old man who allegedly let his 8-year-old son drive his truck down the Interstate while the father slept.
On orders from the son, lawyers entered his defense: a claim that the cops are just jealous their dad isn’t as awesome as his dad.
LAS VEGAS (UPI) — The Las Vegas resort with the brand name of Hooters has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, court papers show.
Company accountants say it’s all gone wings up.
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