Apple iMac Quad-Core i5 Desktop with 21.5” LED Display – $1,049.99

Saturday, December 24, 2011

God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman

That furry red-and-white coat would look great over a black turtleneck, wouldn’t it?

“Tonight’s the night! Are you excited about Jobsmas Eve?”

I’m afraid to even ask what that means.

“Jobsmas Eve, man! The way I see it, over the next several hundred years, the stature of Steve Jobs will grow to legendary proportions, like Gilgamesh or Axl Rose. And since Apple products are considered the ultimate Christmas gifts, the holiday will someday become synonymous with the company, and the man who founded it!”

Wow, you’ve managed to deeply offend both Christians and Apple fans with one fake holiday. Nice job.

”’Offend’? What’s offensive about the spirit of Steve Jobs going from house to house to deliver fantastically awesome presents to good little girls and boys? I’m just getting a jump on what everyone’s going to believe hundreds of years from now. I’ve always been ahead of my time.”

Is that what people in the future will call “crazy”?

“Look, you and I know that Steve probably couldn’t have visited every kid in the world in one night. I mean, he never tried, so who knows. OK, yeah, it seems far-fetched to you and me. But just imagine how far-fetched the Apple iMac Quad-Core i5 Desktop would have seemed to our great-grandparents.”

Hey! Have you been digging around in the back of my closet?

“Uh, no, no! I certainly haven’t seen that you bought me an Apple iMac Quad-Core i5 Desktop with 21.5” LED display, a quad-core 2.5GHz Intel processor, 4GB of memory, a 500GB hard drive, 802.11n wireless, and OS X Lion! Uncovering a surprise like that would ruin Jobsmas Eve!”

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 1 Year Apple

Condition: New

Features:

• Powered by a second-generation Intel Core i5 quad-core processor (dubbed “Sandy Bridge”), which provides breakthrough digital media management, content creation, and 3D gaming capabilities. With updated Intel Turbo Boost Technology 2.0, the latest Core i5 increases speed automatically for whatever you’re doing, dynamically accelerating performance to match your workload
• This 21.5-inch, all-in-one Apple iMac features an edge-to-edge glass display that utilizes LED backlighting for improved brightness and energy efficiency as well as In-Plane Switching (IPS) technology, which delivers consistent color across a wide 178-degree viewing angle
• AMD Radeon HD 6750M graphics processor (with 512MB of DDR5 SDRAM discrete video memory) for high performance when playing 3D games, editing HD video, or running design software
• With the revolutionary Thunderbolt technology, you’ll be able to achieve bi-directional channels with transfer speeds to peripherals like external hard drives and servers up to an amazing 10 Gbps—while also connecting to a DisplayPort-compatible high-resolution display
• Built-in FaceTime camera for video chatting
• Bluetooth 2.1 + EDR (Enhanced Data Rate) for connecting with peripherals such as keyboards, mice and cell phones
• The sleek aluminum Apple Wireless Keyboard lets you type in front of your computer, on your lap, or anywhere within range. It’s also incredibly thin and streamlined, so it sits on your desk surrounded by nothing but glorious space
• Magic Mouse is unlike any other mouse you’ve ever used. The Multi-Touch surface lets you use gestures to swipe through photos and scroll down web pages. And the entire mouse is the button, so you can click anywhere
• With over 250 features including Multi-Touch gestures, Mission Control, full-screen apps, and Launchpad, OS X Lion takes the Mac further than ever

In the box:

• Apple iMac MC309LL/A Desktop
• Apple Wireless Keyboard
• Apple Wireless Magic Mouse
• Power Cord
• User Guide

Woot!