BaByliss PRO 1” Straightening Iron – $44.99

Saturday, March 3, 2012

All Short, No Curlies

It happened like this, Doc. I had this hot date, right? And I figured, why not be groomed… everywhere, if you catch my drift?

It took me months to work up the nerve to ask her out. See, she works at this vintage clothing store in the cool part of town. She always looks so well put-together, like a mannequin but sexier. And me, well, the most dressed-up I get is putting on my yellow sweatshirt before I eat a hot dog so the mustard stains won’t show. It’s kind of a miracle that she agreed to go out with me in the first place. I wasn’t about to fumble it away by being a slob.

OK, so there I was, getting ready to leave, nose hair trimmed and the holes in my silver Atari jacket safety-pinned closed from the inside, so you couldn’t even see the pins unless you looked really close, and even then, they were silver just like the jacket. Practically looked as good as if the holes were sewed up for real. I mean, I was totally Queer Eyed up, you know? And then I saw the BaByliss Hair Straightener sitting there, and it got me thinking…

What if things got, you know, intimate? Wouldn’t she be more into me if I was nice and tidy downstairs?

I started thinking about those long, thin 5” plates straightening everything out down there with 450-degree heat. Instead of a messy tangle of shrubbery, I could have a neatly manicured lawn. Just a few gentle swipes of those Nano Titanium heat conductors and my bikini area would go from “Amazon rainforest” to “18th green at Pebble Beach.” And even if she never got a look at it, I’d know I was in perfect order down there, and my confidence would show it. You know, like shining your shoes before a school picture.

What? No, no, that wasn’t the point where things went horribly wrong. That part of my plan worked just fine. I’ll just say, as a gentleman, that the date went great, I looked fantastic all over, and I think me and her are gonna have a lot of good times together.

No, the injuries happened later that night, after my sister found her BaByliss Hair Straightener and figured out what I’d done. I guess I left some evidence stuck to it, stupid me. She waited until I went to sleep – she always was the smart one – and then took the, uh, appropriate revenge. Burned me up pretty good, as you can see.

So how long did you say I need to keep these bandages on? I’ve got another date tomorrow night. I think I might go natural this time, though.

Warranty: 1 Year Limited BaByliss

Condition: New

Features:

• The ultra-thin profile of this high-tech iron make it exceptionally lightweight and easy to work with
• The extra-long 5” plates reach up to 450°F and allow for wider sections to be straightened, boosting speed and effectiveness while eliminating hand fatigue and increasing styling flexibility
• Nano Titanium™ is an exceptional conductor of heat and maintains stability in ultra-high temperatures
• Negative ions are emitted for faster straightening and locking hair’s own natural moisture
• Nano Titanium also yields maximum far-infrared heat, penetrating the hair from within for gentle straightening without damaging hair
• Glides through hair; no pulling
• Ultra-thin and ultra-lightweight
• The housing is made of Ryton to resist high heat
• Dimensions: 13.2” x 2.2” x 7”

In the box:

• (1) BaByliss®PRO BABNT3072 Nano Titanium™ 1” Ultra-Thin Straightening Iron
• (1) Carrying Case

Woot! – One Day, One Deal