Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack

Thursday, January 3, 2013

An Open Letter To My Least Favorite Wines:

Gentlebottles, we’ve had our differences over the years. But we’ve always treated each other with respect, if not love. Do you remember the time, 1994 Merlot That Tasted Like Cork, that I didn’t pour you out immediately? No, I might have been young, but I said “I will treat this wine with respect!” and finished that bottle! Because I was determined to give you every chance, even if you fought me every step of the way!

But today, gentlebottles, we move into a new world. A world where there’s no room for you. Because, you see, today I have a Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack. That means there’s a place for ten of my most favorite wines. My red, my other red, that dessert wine my Mom gave me for Christmas, that white I don’t have room for in my fridge, the other other red, and a few players to be named later, plus my mail until I get one of those mail baskets. What there ISN’T room for are bottles I have no plans to drink. And that’s you, 2010 Fortified Wine My Cousin Bought At The Gas Station As A Joke. Yes, I might have kept you around for two years, but that doesn’t mean we’re friends.

Nothing personal, you’re a lovely shade of orange-green and I’m sure you’ll find the right one someday. It just won’t be my Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack.

So one last toast, then? To our past! And my future! Huzzah! There, that’s done. Now, I want you all in a recycle bin by morning, okay? My new Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack has no time for you lowlifes. Now, I’m all about CLASS.

Yours sincerely,

Your Former Roommate

Dimensions: 21″ x 7.25″ x 33″

In the box:

(1) Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack

Woot