Capresso 1.5 Quart Glass Water Kettle

Saturday, December 22, 2012

“Where’s the Capresso 1 1/2 qt. Glass Water Kettle, Miller? WHERE IS IT????”

“Aw, jeez, Hinkle. Turn off that interrogating lamp, huh? That stopped being funny weeks ago.”

Hinkle shrugged and turned off the light. Miller pointed towards the closet.

“Last time I saw it, it was the cupboard.”

Hinkle opened the door to the cupboard. No Capresso 1 1/2 qt. Glass Water Kettle.

“Could you have loaned it out?”

“Are you kidding me? Who loans out a water kettle? We bought one SPECIFICALLY to keep in the kitchen. Who would have even taken it from there?”

“You’re right. It’s not like guests come in here. If they did, I’d see them. Since I’m always cooped up in this office.”

“Don’t start with that again, Hinkle.”

“Well, it’s true, Miller! “

Miller tapped the table, he always did when he was angry. Hinkle peeked under the sink, just in case he saw a glint of the heat-resistant Schott glass.

Why don’t WE ever go dancing, Miller”

“For the love’a … dancing? Seriously?”

“Imagine us, side by side, walking in with our Capresso 1 1/2 qt. Glass Water Kettle. Everyone would be gliding across the floor, and when the music stopped, they’d all turn our way. A little old man in a tuxedo would hold out his arm and say ‘MR. AND MR. HINKLE-MILLER, DETECTIVES FOR HIRE, AND THEIR 360 DEGREE SWIVEL BASE TEA KETTLE’ and there would be a round of applause. We’d step together to the center of the floor, the conductor’s baton raised to score our first dance-“

“Shut up, will ya?”

Miller slapped the table.

“First, the Capresso 1 1/2 qt. Glass Water Kettle isn’t the kind of thing you haul around like a basketball. It’s for tea and coffee and whatever. You use it like a sensible person, set it down, plug it in, boom. And second, the only way I’d take you to a ball is if you were the last person on Earth, because-“

“-found it!” Hinkle called from the hallway. “Guess I poured out some water in the bathtub and left it on the ironing board. See, Miller? See how easy it was when I got out of this room? Bet there’s a whole big world outside our front door, if only we’d dare to grab it.”

Miller tapped the table and stared at his phone, muttering to himself. “It would have to be Miller-Hinkle, anyway. Mama always believed in reverse alphabetical order.”

In the Box:

• (1) Capresso 259.04 1.5 Quart Glass Water Kettle

Woot