Cow Tipping

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

“I thought humans had poor hearing.”

“They do, but our hooves make a racket on this wood flooring. Walk very carefully. The little one sleeps in here.”

“Aw, we’re doing it to the little one?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I dunno. They’re kind of cute in a weird way.””If you say so. This is the door. Are you ready?”

“I think so, but I’ve never been human-stomping before. Do we just stomp on them on the floor and then leave?”

“No, no. They don’t sleep on the floor, but on these raised ‘beds’.”

“Oh weird, OK.”

“And the trick is to just stomp it as fast as you can, before it wakes up.”

“Got it. Does it hurt them?”

“I don’t think so, though I’ve never seen one get up afterwards. I think they just keep sleeping.”

Wear this shirt: to give your tables the hint.

Don’t wear this shirt: while cow tipping, or the quantum lattice will collapse.

This shirt tells the world: “That’s gratuitous.”

We call this color: in professional cow-tipping, the surface is never real grass.

Woot