Cuisinart 4-Slice Toaster – Black

Monday, November 26, 2012

After a night in the clink following her emotional breakdown at the coffee house, Pamela was feeling much better. Turns out if you plead temporary insanity in a public disturbance case, they let you off with a slap on the wrist and a $ 500 fine.

Oh, and she was also no longer welcome at that particular coffee house, which is a total bummer because they made the best Eggs Benedict. She knew she was just going to have to settle for toast and jam until she could find a new regular spot, so she got out her Cuisinart 4-slice toaster. She popped in a few slices of whole wheat bread, and chose her browning setting on the LED touchpad.

As she was waiting for them to toast, she slid out the crumb tray and emptied it. She wasn’t happy that she had humiliated herself in public at one of her favorite places, but she was glad she had gotten it all out of her system. The guilt over Sylvia had really been weighing on her, but now she was seeing things clearly.

And that thing she was seeing very clearly, right at this moment, was Sylvia’s face on her piece of toast.

Pamela pushed the extra-lift carriage lever so she didn’t burn her fingers removing the slice. She shuddered as she inspected it more closely. It could be Wayne Newton but … no. It was as plain as the toasted nose on Sylvia’s face staring back at her right now. Pamela was never going to be able to move on from her terrible betrayal until she faced it head-on.

She placed the slice on a plate, spooned out a big glob or marmalade, and then started to weep.

“Oh Sylvia. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking all these years. It was all a mistake. Just a huge mistake. You were my best friend, and I betrayed you. It’s all my fault you’re gone now. And I’ll probably never see you again. I just wish I could tell you this all to your face. Well, your real face. Not your toast face.”

“Well, now’s your chance,” said Sylvia. She had walked in just in time to catch the end of Pamela’s soliloquy.

Pamela gasped. For a split second, she thought the toast was talking to her. But then Sylvia spoke again.

“And seriously, stop your blubbering already. You’re a real ugly crier, you know that?”

In the Box:

• (1) Cuisinart CPT-140BK 4-Slice Toaster – Black

Woot