Euro-Pro Ninja Warrior Handheld Blender & Food Processor – $34.99

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Part Of The Process

As you stare into the gentle glow of Della Sue’s Psychic Readings & Love Smoothies neon sign, you know you’ve made the right decision.

The shop looks like an old soda fountain from days long ago. Behind the counter stands a woman dressed in a large flowery Mumu and wearing an apron. She smiles when she sees you pass through the door and beckons you closer. “Welcome! Welcome, gentle traveler. It is I, Della Sue, Mistress of The Fates and Maker of the Love Smoothie, which currently has a patent pending. This is why you’ve come, yes?”

You nod. “Ha ha! This is why everyone comes to Della Sue! Now then, this person is someone who does not love you? An ex-lover, perhaps? Or possibly a friend, friend of a friend, classmate, co-worker, person you met in passing, someone whose picture you saw on Facebook, a Twitter follower, or relative who is distant enough from you in your bloodline that a relationship would be allowed by state law as well as be socially acceptable?”

Shelly works in your office’s Accounts Payable department, so you nod, but come on! She named every possible connection in the book! Clearly, she just some crazy…

“Hmmm. I sense there is some doubt in your mind.”

Whoa.

She waves her hand in front of her face, as if to wave away the cobwebs of your negativity. “Bah! Your relationship prior to the Love Smoothie does not matter to Della Sue, child. Only the relationship AFTER the smoothie. Let’s begin, shall we?”

She reaches under the counter, pulls out a Euro-Pro NJ200 Ninja Warrior Handheld Blender and Food Processor, and places it on the counter. She holds up the 40 ounce processor bowl, squints at you, then shakes her head as she puts it aside. “That’s would be too much. Might send you over the edge. This 32 ounce blending cup should do the job nicely. Tell me about this woman your heart desires. And do not make some silly comment about how I should already know, as the Love Smoothie does not work on the sass-mouthed.”

You spill your love-loran guts out about Shelly to Della Sue as she gathers ingredients. When you tell her about the way the sun sparkles against her red hair, she throws strawberries and pineapple into the beaker. You mention her stupid boyfriend and she grimaces, and then adds lemon peel, a handful of ice, and a garlic clove. Talk of Shelly’s laugh gets you orange juice and yogurt, mentioning the coffee date where you almost kissed her but didn’t puts old coffee grounds in the mix. Finally, she raises her hand to stop your gushing. “What would you do for the heart of this woman?”

You think hard for a moment, then answer, “Almost anything.”

A grin stretches across Della Sue’s slightly withered face. “I knew you would say that.” Then she reveals a container labeled “Bacon and Other Greases.”

You don’t know what she’s saying while she blends together all of the ingredients with her Euro-Pro NJ200 Ninja Warrior Handheld Blender and Food Processor. You are far too amazed by the way it not only blends, but chops and even crushes the food within with its patented Tri-Blade System. It seems like it only takes seconds before she’s pouring the strange contents into a large Styrofoam cup and easily rinsing the blades and stick in her sink. “That will be forty seven dollars and eighty-three cents, child, and a bargain when it comes to the love of another, don’t you think?”

The intestinal distress you experience the day after downing Della Sue’s Love Smoothie will be so excruciatingly painful and bowel-clearing, you’ll be forced to call an ambulance to take you to the nearest hospital. On your third day of recovery, Shelly will visit and tell you that she was so worried when she found out what happened, it made her rethink her relationship with the stupid boyfriend. When she takes your hand and tells you she’s single now, try to hold down any embarrassing gastrointestinal noises.

Warranty: 1 Year Euro-Pro

Condition: New

Features:

• It may look like a simple immersion blender, but the Ninja Warrior is an indispensable handheld kitchen tool that not only blends, but also chops and even crushes frozen foods
• Unique design makes it the first handheld kitchen tool with the ability to crush ice, turning it into snow in seconds
• Patented Tri-Blade System
• Comes with a storage lid, a splash guard, a 40 ounce processor bowl, and a 32 ounce blending cup… as well as the freedom to blend or crush ice in any container you choose
• Lightweight, maneuverable, versatile, and amazingly fast
  – Purees soups into velvety goodness, blends creamy vinaigrettes, whips up cream, emulsifies mayonnaise or sauces in seconds, creates yummy milkshakes or smoothies, and even makes a perfect pesto
• Easy to clean
  – Simply rinse off the blades and stick in between tasks, and when you’re done for the day, just remove the proprietary detachable triple blade system and put in the dishwasher
  – Plus, there is no need to transfer contents back and forth between sauce pots, bowls, and counter top blenders saving a lot of dirty dishes
• Compact
  – Can be easily tucked into a cabinet or drawer without taking up lots of valuable storage space
• See the Ninja Warrior In Action!

Additional Photos:

• Patented Tri-Blade System
• Handheld Blender (for 32 oz. Blending Jar)
• 40 Ounce Processor Bowl with Ninja® 4-Blade and Gear Box
• Closeup of Ninja® 4-Blade
• 32 Ounce Blending Cup with Splash Guard and Storage Lid
• Turbo/On Buttons
• Package Contents
• Packaging

Technical Specifications:

• Voltage: 120V, 60Hz
• Power: 350 Watts
• Blending Shaft Dimensions: 8.5″(H) x 3”(D)
• Processor Bowl:
  – 40 ounces (5 cups)
  – 9”(H) x 6.25”(D)
• Blending Jar:
  – 32 ounces (4 cups)
  – 7.75”(H) x 4.75”(D)
• Power Cord Length: 64”(L)

In the box:

• Blending Shaft
• Power Head
• 40oz Processor Bowl
• Ninja 4-Blade
• Gear Box
• 32oz Blending Cup
• Splash Guard
• Storage Lid
• User Guide / Recipe Booklet

Woot! – One Day, One Deal