High Sierra Sports Diplomat Lumbar Pack

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Okay, yes: this High Sierra Diplomat Lumbar Pack is a fanny pack, but with mesh water bottle pockets, two BPA-free and shatter-resistant water bottles, a compartment with a key fob, and another for a CD/MP3 player with a PVC headphone port, it’s pretty much the coolest, fanciest fanny pack ever. Therefore, the typical fanny-pack wearer may need to adjust his wardrobe a little to match it. For example: 

• Instead of wearing a plastic visor, wear a diamond visor.

• Instead of wearing cargo shorts, wear precious cargo shorts, which are shorts that are made from a variety of valuable items that have been stolen off ships.

• Instead of wearing a drab cotton tee shirt (tucked way into said precious cargo shorts), wear a shirt made from the skin of a cottongator (which is a rare alligator-like creature bred by scientists to have skin that’s soft like cotton, while still being just as exciting to hunt as an alligator)

• Instead of wearing tube socks pulled up to your knees, wear a hologram of tube socks pulled up to your knees projected over a pair of crushed-gold socks (with cottongator lining for softness)

There! Now you’re all set to wear your High Sierra Diplomat Lumbar Pack in style!

In the Box:

• (1) High Sierra Diplomat Lumbar Pack – Pomodora
• (2) BPA-Free Tritan? 500ml Shatter-Resistant Bottles

Woot