Karcher 1600 psi Power Washer

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

“Come sit down, Raoul,” said Leslie, turning on the television. “Brant and I always watch this show together, and since you’re now part of the family, we want to share it with you.”

“Hurry up!” said Brant, grabbing the remote. “It’s starting!”

“Tonight on Haunted Home Inspector! Certified home inspector and paranormalist Dr. Steven Poe finds two Midwestern retirees looking to refit their ghost-infested pipes! Is it a hair clog… or forces beyond human comprehension!”

Good evening, everyone! I’m Dr. Steven Poe, and these are my new friends, Aloysius and Marguerite Van Hootsworth. They’re seventy years young and they’re still as deeply in love as the day they first met. Which is good, because their connection will be vital as we plumb the deepest pits of despair which I suspect are backing up into their pipes. I’m very excited to be able to enjoy this classically designed house. Aloysius, which way to the basement!

Ah, excellent! As you can see, the boiler’s new, but the entire inner wall is covered in filth, likely covered a secret door. As always, I’ve brought my handy Karcher Power Washer for just this reason. I’ve already filled up the tank and connected the wonderfully named “Spray Lance” so we’ve just got to aim and… THERE! PRETTY NICE, ISN’T IT? THAT’S 1600 PSI’S OF HOLY WATER PUMPING THROUGH THIS BABY NOW! I HAD IT BLESSED BEFORE I CAME OVER! TAKE THAT, GHOSTS! YOUR UNHOLY MUCK WON’T STAND BEFORE MY… okay, well, clearly what’s happening here is that the magical door which was behind this muck has evaporated in contact with the Holy Water. I’ll chalk that one up to eagerness, it’s an occupational hazard. The good news, though, is you’re not likely to have any portals opening up in here for at least the rest of the month. And that pile of muck will be easy to clean up with some paper towels.

Over here, I can see you’ve got the original copper piping, and it seems to be in good condition! The bad news is, this window. First of all, a window of this size in the basement is just plain weird. I have to assume it’s haunted, and therefore these streaks aren’t just dirt, they’re ectoplasm. Aloysius and Marguerite, please hold hands and think about how you two met while I fire up the Karcher Power Washer to wash that foul demon-slime off.

OKAY, SO WHAT WE SHOULD BE SEEING IS SMOKE AND WE SHOULD BE HEARING SCREAMS… MAYBE WE CAN’T HEAR OVER THE WATER SPRAY, I’LL JUST TURN IT OFF… Hmm. Just a clean window. That’s odd, either it wasn’t possessed in the first place or… ah, I bet I can guess the problem. Aloysius? Did you ever have an affair?

There’s no good lying, Aloysius. You expect me to believe I fired my Karcher Power Washer on a plain old basement window? There’s no way you’ll ever convince me there weren’t any ghosts in this basement. Either you or your wife cheated once upon a time, it’s just how these things work. I’d advise you beg each other’s forgiveness, then consider making this basement into a downstairs apartment with a separate entrance right over there where the ghost door was supposed to be. At your age, a corporeal tenant can be a nice source of income, and it’ll probably keep the ghost at bay for another year or two, which is more than enough time to track down the source of the haunting. See? I hear pipes rattling right now! That just can’t be natural in a house like this!

In the Box:

(1) Karcher K 2.27 CCK 1600 PSI Power Washer with Car Care Kit includes:

• (1) 1600 PSI Power Washer
• (1) Trigger Gun
• (1) 20 Foot High Pressure Hose
• (1) Vario-Power Spray Lance
• (1) Dirt Blaster
• (1) Accessory Mesh Bag
• (1) 12-Count Concentrated Deck & Patio Soap
• (1) 12-Count Concentrated Degreaser Soap
• (1) Bristle Brush
• (1) Wheel Rim Brush
• (1) Dual Purpose Sponge
• Instruction Manual

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