Karcher Power Washer & Car Kit

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Hey there, and welcome back to Haunted Home Inspector! I’m certified home inspector and paranormalist Dr. Steven Poe, and today on the show we’re going to meet a young couple whose dream home has become a bit of a sanity-shattering temple to the Darkness That Exists Beyond Death Itself. Let’s see if I can put their nightmare to rest, shall we?

Jacob, how are you? KAREN, IF THERE’S ANY PART OF YOU LEFT IN THERE, IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU! She’s securely confined to that chair, yes? Excellent, let’s get started.

Now you guys were lucky that your realtor disclosed the house’s supernatural condition before the sale. But, as is always the case, you had an inspector who was either too lazy or too ignorant to see the signs of the barrier between worlds wearing thin. Had he put in the time and effort to research the house’s history, as well as the ancient burial mound it was built on, your wife may not be the feral puppet of some demon that she is now.

For instance, you thought evil was coming into your home through the basement due to the rancid stench you smelled. Turns out that basement was sealed against the darkness back in 1974 by a previous owner, and that smell was due to a simple faulty sump pump. Not supernatural, but still frustrating for a new homeowner to deal with.

Your attic’s insulation, however, is letting evil seep in all over the place, which is probably what led to the ghostly manifestation that stole your wife’s soul away. All of that will have to be replaced and a professionally-performed protection ritual is going to have to be done, as well. And that’s ON TOP of the exorcism your home already needs.

But your main concern was the excessive bleeding of your exteriors walls and siding, and who could blame you? It’s embarrassing, it reduces curb appeal, and it creates an eyesore for your neighbors. The silver lining here, though, is that, though it’s an uncommon problem, it’s much easier to deal with than your run-of-the-mill interior wall bleed. All you need is a compact electric pressure washer like the Karcher Power Washer & Car Kit. Once your house has been cleansed, you’ll be able to blast all the caked up blood and dirt from your walls, as well as any that’s collected on your driveway or patio. Plus it comes with enough soap and degreaser packs to do the job right, and a bristle and rim brush for your car just in case you get any ectoplasm on it as you escape an inter-dimensional portal attempting to swallow your house.

What’s sad is that this all adds up to a big, costly job that you might have avoided if your original inspector had known what to look for. You’ll spend a lot, but what you save in not having to chain your beloved to a bed while you wait for her spirit to be released will more than make up for it.

In the Box:

(1) Karcher K 2.27 CCK 1600 PSI Power Washer with Car Care Kit includes:

• (1) 1600 PSI Power Washer
• (1) Trigger Gun
• (1) 20 Foot High Pressure Hose
• (1) Vario-Power Spray Lance
• (1) Dirt Blaster
• (1) Accessory Mesh Bag
• (1) 12-Count Concentrated Deck & Patio Soap
• (1) 12-Count Concentrated Degreaser Soap
• (1) Bristle Brush
• (1) Wheel Rim Brush
• (1) Dual Purpose Sponge
• Instruction Manual

Woot