» Little Giant Select Step 5-8′ Ladder

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Never used a ladder before? Then get ready for four minutes of in-your-face ladder explanation with the official Little Giant Select Step Adaptive Stepladder Product Video.

0:04 Hey hey hey. There’s no WAY I’m going to be able to afford all these ladders, Mr. Sexyvoice.

0:12 As experimental prose artists, Little Giant Ladders strictly avoids verbs.

0:15 If my answer is “No” should I stop watching?

0:17 Ever?

0:21 I think you’re grossly overestimating how often I use ladders.

0:27 Good thing the ladder isn’t nervous. Like a newly-broken foal, you want it to be confident and self-assured.

0:33 Just like I did before my wife’s treachery.

0:40 That was the eighth middle-aged man they used for this shot. The others…

0:51 Impossible!

1:02 This Hitchcock angle makes me feel VERY secure.

1:16 Now you’re speaking to me, the neglectful-staircase-caretaker.

1:21 Seems like they were managing it pretty well…

1:30 Hey who told you about our wall-banging past? That was EXPUNGED.

1:39 Again, how much laddering do you think I’m doing on a daily basis?

1:46 You underestimate the size of my decorations.

1:50 And my pacemaker stays comfortably inoperable.

1:59 Those specific corners? I have no interest.

2:09 Ehhhh don’t think we’re selling that.

2:14 No more bending or up and down? What puritanical regime is this??

2:19 “We’re results! Look at us!”

2:29 So…many…possibilities…brain…expanding…

2:38 Wait I didn’t catch what kind of pear that was. Bosch?

2:48 And the Ladderer Union is ironclad. You can’t get somebody for less than $ 75/hr. And that’s a ladderer’s hour (25 min).

2:55 And you can figuratively do millions of projects with your imagination.

3:00 These ladder people really play on our most basic fears.

3:05 Just like my brother-in-law, Earl.

3:09 If the audio was on we would hear that old woman’s humerus snapping.

3:16 Nice…jeans, guy.

3:23 I believe we’ve been over this.

3:37 I could also very easily throw $ 300 into the toilet if I so chose.

3:46 Robots!

4:00 I’ll take the 300′ ladder please and thank you.

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