Miami 5-Piece Folding Dining Set

Friday, April 12, 2013

Tomorrow morning, North Korean troops could climb out of that manhole down on Main Street. Freedom, as we know it, might be over. We can’t stop it. We can’t avoid it. All we can do is throw some dawgs on the grill and some beer in the cooler and have ourselves the wildest party that the world has ever-

Hang on. Who forgot to order the table? AND RIGHT THEN, BOOM, YOU’RE OLD.

See, part of being young is knowing that tomorrow doesn’t matter! Who can plan beyond the next party, brah? That’s the spirit that made the ’80s great even under constant fear of a Soviet nuke, and THAT’S the spirit a new patio set can bring back to your home.

Think about it. You and your friends enjoying high-strength chairs as you put your feet up on the 51-inch long table. Nobody’s gonna tell YOU to sit like a grown-up! Eat fatty foods and drink cheap beer, and who cares, right? Tomorrow will take care of itself! Hey, maybe you’ll even meet that hottie you’ve been too shy to talk to. “Nice table, sexy” is what they’ll say. And your best friend will give you the thumbs up from over by the jukebox. Which you’ll buy right AFTER you buy this table.

Don’t stay inside all summer, wondering if we’re doomed. Did the late Spuds MacKenzie teach us nothing? Get out there and PARTY! When those North Korean troops come over the hill, you be sitting at your patio set with cold brewskis at the ready, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll YOLO your way into some fun.

Because, check it: North Korea’s totally BFF with Dennis Rodman now. And Rodman has GOT to know how to get the hook-up on NBA tickets, right?

In the Box:

RST Outdoor OP-ALFT05-WHT – Miami 5-Piece Folding Dining Set includes:

• (1) Table
• (4) Chairs

Woot