She’s Proud To Be A C. megalodon-er: Woot Weads The Wire
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
LEXINGTON, Ky. (UPI) — Scientists say a fossil found 700 feet underground by a Kentucky coal miner is the jaw of a giant shark that lived around 300 million years ago.
Ichthyologists say this finding may change everything we know about the evolution of Loretta Lynn.
BEIJING (UPI) — Beijing police detained several members of the Shouwang Protestant group for seeking to pray in public, church members said.
Church spokemen said that they would fight the indecent exposure charges, claiming the arrest was based on a total misunderstanding of the group’s name.
DEL MAR, Calif. (UPI) — Paranormal investigators in California say they have collected 130 recordings of ghostly voices from the Del Mar Fairgrounds grandstand.
Also one recording appears to be some hipster and his dog, yelling “Zoiks! A G-g-g-g-g-ghost!”
TEWKSBURY, Mass. (UPI) — Raytheon-made SLAMRAAM missiles successfully destroyed a pair of targets during U.S. military tests in New Mexico, the company reported.
The missles are considered to be a great step forward in the field of military onomatopoeia.
WASHINGTON (UPI) — A Somali pirate was sentenced to 25 years in prison for armed piracy against a merchant vessel carrying U.S. goods, the U.S. Justice Department said Thursday.
According to the pirate’s lawyer, the man could be released early, assuming his good behave-yarrr.
NEW YORK (UPI) — Art Garfunkel says he is in good voice as the 40th anniversary of Simon and Garfunkel’s classic U.S. album “Bridge Over Troubled Water” approaches.
Then he sighed and looked sadly at the phone, which continued not ringing.
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