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Shoot First

You know, my first instinct is to shoot this guy under the table right now. I mean, it would obviously do away with the problem in a hurry, and would be pretty exciting to boot. But, I donno, I think maybe I’m getting to the point in my life where I should just pay my debts and do right by people. And in a certain way, that’s just as exciting as blowing him to smithereens, right?

When I look around at my old friends, they’re all married with kids and houses, and where am I? Still smuggling? That was cool ten years ago, but it’s starting to feel a little pathetic. I mean, I’ve pretty much burned every bridge I’ve ever crossed by shooting first and asking questions later. And now my credit score is crap and I’ve got nobody to warm my bed at night. Well, you’d be surprised that even with all that luxurious hair, he doesn’t provide much warmth.

I never thought I’d care about my credit score. That seemed like something for squares and moisture farmers to worry about, not scofflaws like me. But now I’m seriously thinking about putting down some credits on a place, and I can’t find a lender that will even talk to me. Maybe I should rob them and take the money…that’ll solve everything.

Wear this shirt: in Mexican cantinas and expect to get a lot of confused looks.

Don’t wear this shirt: after 1991.

This shirt tells the world: “Be the decision tree you wish to see in the world.”

We call this color: Olive the other smugglers died young for some reason.

Woot

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