Shredz 11-Sheet Cross Cut Paper Shredder

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Snip! There went the movie ticket. Snip! There went the romantic Post-It Note. Snip! There went that little hand-written playlist that went with the MP3 mix he’d emailed her. Snip! Snip! Snip! Danielle’s Shredz 11-Sheet Cross-Cut Paper Shredder was getting quite the work-out today.

Naturally, the sound of the Shredz 11-Sheet Cross-Cut Paper Shredder wasn’t Snip! at all, it was more like Vrrztshuck! or pfst pfst pfst. But Danielle just liked to imagine the Snip! every time she dropped something into the shredder. It just felt more final.

And final was what she wanted. That’s why she needed something that could hold five gallons, and shred paper, plastic, CDs and DVDs. Gone was that copy of “Eastbound And Down” she’d now never watch. Gone was the copy of “Simply Red’s Greatest Hits” he’d given her because he knew she liked Mick Hucknall’s soulful Irish voice. The fact that she DID like it was completely meaningless. Snip! Snip! Snip!

The auto start/stop function meant Danielle barely even had to pay attention to what she was shredding, and that made it super easy. Later in the day, she’d take all the shred to the trash can downstairs and throw them out like they were NYC police documents. And then, she’d come home, flop on her bed, and send out the text she should have sent ages ago.

Sorry about the other day. Want to come over? I’m all yours.

In the Box:

• (1) Shredz 7017 Cross-Cut 11-Sheet Paper Shredder 

Woot