Studying Previous G-G-Generations: Woot Weads The Wire
Friday, May 20, 2011
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
WASHINGTON (UPI) — Republican U.S. presidential candidate Newt Gingrich doesn’t want to talk about the sizable debt records show he had with high-end jeweler Tiffany’s.
Sources close to the candidate hint that Gingrich just considers breakfast the most important meal of the day.
KHARTOUM, Sudan (UPI) — Archaeologists say they’ve found 5,000-year-old rock carvings in northern Sudan depicting scenes they can’t explain.
Additionally, the team claims some sort of ancient virus has left them dizzy in the head, and feeling blue.
LOS ANGELES (UPI) — Rob Lowe will direct “Butterfinger the 13th,” a movie being produced by the company that makes the candy bar of the same name, Nestle announced.
The film is expected to do well against the upcoming Three Musketeers remake.
LOS ANGELES (UPI) — Mary Tyler Moore’s publicist says the American actress has successfully undergone a 4-hour operation to remove a benign tumor in her head.
Sadly, immediately after the operation, her doctor tripped over an ottoman.
VERSAILLES, Ohio (UPI) — A fire in a large Ohio chicken facility Tuesday left an estimated 83,000 chickens dead, officials said.
Grieving onlookers hoped against hope that someone would deliver a side dish.
WASHINGTON, May 17 (UPI) — U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann said Tuesday with Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump skipping the presidential race, she may speed up her decision whether to run.
But lawyers say the moment Bachmann goes into overdrive to take care of business, she runs the risk of an RIAA cease and desist order.
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. (UPI) — Organizers of the Newport Beach Film Festival claim comedian Andy Dick exposed himself and caused property damage at the California event last month.
Or as Andy Dick calls it, his best behavior.
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